Wednesday’s Weird Product Of The Day

Gloves have tremendous market penetration, but there is always room for improvement an innovation. Enter Sruli Recht, a merchant selling gloves made out of the supple skin of the basking shark for about $1,000. You many be thinking, shark skin gloves may be different, but are they worth of a front page feature on aPlateOfGrapes.com? Well these gloves have fishhook-like thorns on the inside that make it impossible to take the gloves off (no word on if they’ll be making condoms, too).

A description from their site:

“Fitted and unlined glove from basking shark skin, with the mic-rose thorns inside. Should you put your hand in, you will discover that the thorns, all directed to slant inward, will lock your hand in place in the manner of, ten thousand fishhooks. Should you attempt to remove it, the thousands of thorns will bite into the skin. You can put the gloves on, but to remove them would mean to cut them off. Gloves for life, or for one wear – the ultimate and final commitment.”

 

You can buy these gloves here.

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Monday Image Dump

Today we highlight a recent flyer from Rite Aid who, like many other retailers, is cashing in celebrating the NFL playoffs (or “Professional Football” if you don’t want to get sued). If Rite Aid is to be believed, I’ve been tailgating wrong my entire life. Below are just some of the items they’re featuring… after each item I’ll attempt to make some sort of football connection.

 

Fish Oil

 

Their offence: I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to have a big bowl of fish oil supplements handy for the big game.

Their defense: I guess the quarterbacks do call out things like, “B-12, C-1000mg, hut, hut, hike!”.

~~~

ept

 

Thier offence: This has to be the exact opposite of what football is all about. I don’t know what Cystex is, and I’m not reading the description to find out.

Their defense: EPT… actually makes sense. Since the ref’s are busyFUCKING your team for the ENTIRE game, you’ll probably want to get tested.

~~~

Wart

 

Thier offence: Wartner? In what

Their defense: Your team isn’t perfect… it has warts (that’s why they aren’t going to the Superbowl). This works especially well if your team lost because the opposing coach called a last second timeout to freeze your kicker.

~~~

Beer & Coffee

Thier offence: On a page with beer, chili, and chips, the “gameday” product is… coffee?

Their defense: They’re mentally challenged.

Extra point: Since when are Natural Light, PBR, Coors, Bud Light, etc… considered CRAFT beer? Notice they actually hightlight CRAFT in their header.

~~~

Overtime: There were actually many, many more… so sad.

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You can find, and buy (maybe), anything on the internet

Since Monday Store Images has been so popular, I’m going to add another site regular: Wacky Item Wednesday (that name is a work in progress; I haven’t put it through consumer testing yet). Basically, I’ve been seeing some weird stuff on the net lately (well, for the last 15 years or so), and I thought I’d share. First up we have…

Tired of getting poop on your hands? Well, now there’s a wet wipe shaped like a mitten so, no matter how drunk you are, you can’t miss. They’re called Shittens. Check out their website, www.GetShittens.com it’s worth your time.

They’re out of stock on Amazon, but if you’re interested, you can buy them directly from their site.

Check out their commercial:

[youtube jDW6HOLInMQ]

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Image Time!

Our first image actually has something to do with grapes… grapeless grapes:

1-13-14a

 

Next up we have an interesting warning label:

1-13-14b

 

Finally…

1-13-14c

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You Can Be Scrooge McDuck!

For sale is a bank vault complete with 8 million coins scattered about the floor for swimming. No joke. It is in Switzerland, so you’ll have to have it shipped if you live elsewhere. Not sure if it qualifies for Amazon Prime.

Check it out here.

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