A Plate Of Grapes

Since everyone knows mobile homes are tornado magnets, I’ve always wondered why mobile homes aren’t, you know, mobile.  If we learned anything from that crappy movie Twister, it’s that tornado’s are malevolent, sentient monsters that yearn for maximum destruction. They also growl for some reason.

Because of nature’s primal hunger for mobile homes, I would think mobile home dwellers would want to have the ability to scatter like cockroaches when they turn on the lights. Let’s walk through what I think are the most important requirements for mobile home ownership:

1. Blazingly, tornado dodgingly mobile
2. Homey
3. Since tornadoes are somewhat intelligent, a mobile home must not just be mobile, but also… deceptive.

Here’s a picture of a typical not-too mobile home:

Boringly stationary!!!

Here’s what changes I think should be made to improve your standard, old mobile home.

1. Wheels, to ensure the desired mobility
2. Flared fenders, ’cause they’re just rad
3. Not just rims, but spinner rims. Why? Ultimate deception. The tornado sees your rims spinning and BAM, it throws off their approach vector.
4. Chrome tipped dryer vents, ’cause they’re also rad

All of these changes will make these homes both more mobile and more homey. Don’t believe me? See for yourself and relish in its radness:

Much more mobile, homey