Vikings Were Wussies

While at my other job last week someone asked, “Is mead wine or beer?”

“It’s beer, ” I said immediately. Then I paused, briefly, reexamining my assumptions. “It’s honey based… I always assumed it was a beer.” This last phrase was said in ever quieter tones, as I became more introspective.

“Isn’t it commonly referred to as honey wine?” someone else commented.

“To the internet!” Here’s what we found.

 

 

Witness mead, aka honey wine. Doesn’t look like beer to me (well, maybe MGD 64).

So… we’re supposed to believe that after a day replete with pillage, plunder and general bad-assery the legendary Vikings sat around and drank white wine? Out of animal horns?Fabulous animal horns?

OK, so maybe a society comprised wholly of white wine drinkers doesn’t necessarily lead to other emasculate activities. Some might even argue that white wine isn’t emasculative. Some might argue dinosaurs weren’t wiped out by a hunk of rock and ice from space, but rather they built spaceships and left Earth altogether.

 

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I think that’s called irony

i·ro·ny (r-n, r-)

n. pl. i·ro·nies

a. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
b. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
c. Shortly after an NFL commercial touting recent strides in player safety (featuring Tom Brady and Ray Lewis), Ray Lewis suffers what is likely a season ending (and possibly career ending) injury.
Check out the video below.

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Duck and Cover! Earthquake Photoshoot

Here’s a few photos I took during the earthquake the other day.

 

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Gopher Grape Cannoneer and Annual Grape Carving Competition

 

Trips to the zoo are always fun. The sights, the… sights, it never ceases to entertain. Enjoy a few images of my (no so) recent trip to the zoo.

 

 

Also, it’s time for our annual grape carving competition! Just carve a grape and send it to AskTheSeaCaptain@aplateofgrapes.com

Here are a few tips to make your carving successful:

  • Freeze grapes before hand, it makes them less squishy
  • Use Christmas lights for internal lighting (they’re small enough)
  • A Creme Brulee torch add a wonderful effect
  • Don’t have mad carvin’ skills? Use paint or markers.
  • Or just use Photoshop, or whatever if you want to be that way

Here’s a photo of a past event:

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Guns and Tentacles (nt… big difference)

 

Because random things strike me at random times I carry a notepad. Often, my barely legible chicken scratches have already been done by someone else. Not so with Spiderman’s new and improved nemesis, Dr. Glocktopus. Really, what good are tentacles without guns on the ends of them? I was surprised no one did this before.

Dr. Glocktopus, now that’s bad ass!

 

“Good start” I thought, “but how can I expand on this?” Like you, my mind went immediately to a month-long gun and grape themed site takeover called Glocktober!

A quick Google search confirmed Glocktober was already taken… by a law enforcement group fighting juvenile diabetes? The Got Milk inspired web site GotGlock.org needs to be seen to be believed. It’s an odd amalgamation of good causes and gun raffles. Here’s a screen grab of their homepage:

 

 

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